When a situation triggers stressful feelings, it may seem counterintuitive to intentionally speak up. If giving and getting feedback is uncomfortable for you remember that those feelings are short term but a misunderstanding can fester for years or spontaneously combust into conflict. Feedback is actually a positive communication shortcut that creates clarity.

There are also defensive communication shortcuts - flight or fight behaviors. Fight and flight behaviors create blind spots and are outcomes of not using feedback. There is actually a spectrum of feelings that begin with uncomfortable and spiral downward into irritation, negativity, taking things extremely personally and end with fight or flight defensive behaviors.

The good news is that downward spirals can be slowed down and even stopped by speaking up. With a little practice, giving and getting feedback will clear the air very quickly.