Defensiveness, reactivity, close mindedness - all these words are synonyms for negativity. Everyone has experienced negativity when faced with an unpleasant situation such as imposed change, or conflict. Undoing negativity requires us to recognize we are in an altered state in the back of our brain and need to use the frontal area of our brain to generate tactical strategies to respond instead of being reactive.

At dinner time, when asked, “How was your day?” there would be a lot of complaining from my children, my husband and me - about school, work, the weather, or any little thing that was annoying. Something had to change.

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The New Year is a time that many people make resolutions to improve their lives.  It is also a time when people experience sadness and regret over what wasn’t accomplished or even started in the past year.  “What did you expect?” is the simple question that connects the optimism of improvement and the pessimism of procrastination.  Expectations are baked into everything we think and do, which is why they are often unexamined.  

Tantrums are associated with being childish.  Phrases like “Don’t act like a child” or “Are you taking all your marbles and going home?” make it difficult for adults to admit that they tantrum.  It is an immature reaction to frustration or disappointment and yet it is also a common reaction for many adults.

Relational Intelligence has evolved out of research on Emotional Intelligence. Developmentally, we appear to learn how to take care of others first (social-awareness/relational management), and then apply that learning to how we take care of ourselves (self-awareness/self-management)...